Never Let Me Go
by briananewcomb12
Summary: Org 13 celebrates another year, inviting another member in to the org, Sora. They decide to have a party after Sora's induction, and Roxas tries to decline due to his past with drugs and alcohol. But what will happen when Roxas is in an accident because of the party, causing him to have amnesia? (Future smut, References to Drugs, alcohol, self harm, abuse, and sooo NSFW.)


Whole Story Warnings**: This is an AU, i guess. Or whatever. But I have set in modern times with modern technology, but still keeping the KH aspect to it. They still fight against nobodies and control the heartless. I've made up a few things along the way, and you'll see especially in chapter 1. There will be smut. LOTSSSS. And if you don't know all the characters, I'd suggest doing research or not reading this. :) There will be references to drugs, alcohol, self harm, and abuse. If you are easily triggered, I do not recommend reading this Fic. It's mostly going to be about Roxas, but in the first chapter, it's mostly Sora. **

**Chapter 1 The Induction**

Roxas never wanted to attend the Organization's celebratory party, but his best friend and partner in crime, Sora would let up about it.

"C'mon Rox! It's my induction into the Organization! How could you not go?!" The brunette practically cornered Roxas in their shared apartment. "You never use to turn down parties, especially ones the Organization threw." Sora crossed his arms at the blonde.

"Look, you know the promise I made Ax. I told him I'd never go to a party again." Sora scoffed and walked into the living room. Roxas followed him, taking a sip of water.

"You're letting him run your personal life, Rox." Sora rolled his eyes and took out his phone, texting his boyfriend immediately.

To Riku: Hey bae. He's still on this whole Axel thing. Won't even try to go."

To Sora: well tell him to get over it. ax said he's goin.

To Riku: SERIOUSLY!? How'd you manage that one?

To Sora: said rox was goin but wasn't drinkin

Sora rolled his eyes at his boyfriends spelling. Roxas also rolled his eyes, due to the fact Sora was ignoring him now.

"You're boyfriends going, sweet cheeks." Sora smiled and it made Roxas blush. "Hey! If you don't believe me, here's the texts! And you can text Axel too." Roxas groaned.

"I don't want to go, Sor. I think it's really awesome that your with the Organization now, but I just don't want to drink." Roxas started walking toward the bathroom wanting to take a shower and wash away the shame he started to feel. Sora of course was following him.

"Then don't drink! Just go! You know how much this means to me!" Roxas tried to close the bathroom door, but Sora put his arms up to stop him.

"Sora! You know how I am when I'm around booze like that. I.. I can't control myself." Roxas felt his face flush and he looked down. Sora sighed and pushed open the door.

"You just have to learn to control yourself. You know Axel won't be drinking, so just stay by his side." Roxas took a deep breath and looked at Sora.

"Fine." Sora's face lit up and he smiled wide.

"Really?! AHHH!" Sora embraced the blonde and squeezed him, making Roxas yelp.

"Jesus, Sor! Let me go!" They both laughed a little and Roxas pushed Sora out of the bathroom. "I'm taking a shower! Leave me be!" Roxas laughed and started the shower water. He stripped out of his clothes and looked at himself in the mirror.

'I can't have a repeat of last year…' Roxas sighed as he stepped into the shower. He put his arms against the shower wall and put his head down, letting the warm water run down his head slowly. 'How did he ever forgive me…?'

~1 Year prior~

_"How many shots can you do, Roxas?!" Saix yelled over the blaring music. Roxas was already incredibly intoxicated, but what did it matter to him? Why not get even more drunk?_

_"I can do like… 20 guys." Roxas was slurring, making everyone laugh. He thought he was on top of the world. Saix immediately gave himself and Roxas three shots each of tequila. _

_One_

_Two_

_Three_

_And Roxas slammed his glasses down, throwing his fists in the air in victory. Everyone cheered him on. All except one person. His boyfriend Axel. Axel stood behind the crowd shaking his head. Roxas caught a glimpse of the red head as he disappeared into the kitchen. He was about to follow him until he felt arms around his waist. Roxas turned around and saw he was face to face with Vexen, the long haired blonde and feisty fighter. Roxas smiled. _

_Vexen whispered in Roxas' ear. "You look incredibly sexy right now." Without even thinking about his actions, Roxas found himself pressing his lips against Vexen's. They were lip locked for what seem like minutes for Roxas, but it was only a few seconds before they were violently ripped apart from each other by Axel. _

_"What the fuck is wrong with you!" Axel pushed Vexen to the ground. "You know damn well he's mine." Before everyone knew what was happening, Vexen was on the ground with Axel on top of him, throwing punches repeatedly. _

_"AX!" Roxas threw his arms around his boyfriend, only to get shoved backwards by one push of Axel's arm. Roxas stumbled back and fell over, hitting his head on the floor. Then complete blackness. _

_When Roxas woke up, he was in his apartment with a note by him. 'We're through.' Was all it said. _

Present Time~

Roxas groaned and began washing his hair as he reminisced about his past. He was an idiot for cheating on Axel, and he wished he could've changed everything. Axel didn't trust Roxas after that, and still doesn't trust him. It took him almost 6 months to get over the fact Roxas kissed another man.

Roxas sighed. He didn't want to think about his past, but he couldn't help it. He turned off the shower and slowly dried himself off. He ran the towel through his hair and shook his head to get more water off his head. Roxas wrapped the towel around his waist and headed out of the bathroom to his bedroom. When he walked in his room, he nearly screamed.

"Hey, cutie." Axel was laying on Roxas' bed, grinning like an idiot.

"Good lord, Ax!" Roxas laughed a little and walked over to his dresser. "You scared the shit out of me." Axel smiled and walked up behind Roxas, wrapping his arms around him.

"I'm sorry, babe. So are you really going tonight? And not drinking?" Roxas sighed and turned around.

"Yes, I promise I won't. Just for you." Roxas smiled and Axel couldn't help but press his lips against the blondes. Roxas' lips were soft, but slightly chapped, and he tasted like peppermint.

"Mm." Axel moaned into the kiss, making Roxas pull away.

"Not so fast, tiger." Roxas turned back around and fished out a pair of boxers from his dresser. He walked over to his closet where his his Organization outfit was hanging up. Before Axel could get any more excited, Roxas quickly threw on the skin tight outfit, along with his cloak.

"God, I love how your ass looks in that." Axel grinned and smacked Roxas' ass, making him grit his teeth.

"When are we leaving?" Roxas changed the subject, making Axel groan.

"Ugh, we're waiting for Riku to pick us up. Then we're all going together as a group." Roxas made his way into the kitchen with Axel following behind him slowly. "I can call him if you want to leave now. I mean, the induction starts at 6. The party will move to Saix's house right after." Roxas looked over at the clock and the time read 5:25.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll be right back." Roxas ran back to his room, making sure to close his door and lock it quietly. He walked over to his dresser, searching through his bottom drawer for something. After a few seconds, Roxas pulled out a small bag filled with a white substance. He sighed and tucked it away in a safe pocket in his cloak. He quickly joined Sora and Axel back in the kitchen.

"Riku said he's on his way. He'll call when he's outside." Sora smiled and looked at himself over and over in the mirror. He hadn't earned his cloak yet, so he was just stuck in the skin tight clothing, not that he minded it much. It made his ass look fantastic, and he was sure Riku would feel the same.

Axel couldn't keep his eyes off of Roxas. He must've been in deep thought because he never noticed Axel was staring at him. Roxas turned toward the sink and got a cup of water. His nerves were already setting in. He felt as if Axel and Sora knew what he went back into his room to get.

'No, how could they know! They think I'm clean..' Roxas sighed and put his cup back in the sink. The trio sat and stood around awkwardly for about 15 minutes before they received the call from Riku saying he was in the parking lot.

"Roxas, got the keys?" Axel tossed them to Roxas.

"Yup! Let's go!" Axel took his boyfriends hand and put his other arm around Sora's shoulder.

"You excited?" He rubbed Sora's head and Sora moved away.

"Hey! Knock it off! Of course I'm excited." The trio smiled as they entered the parking lot and saw the gray Prius in the parking lot. When they approached the car, they saw another black coat, and it was none other than Saix. Sora of course took the passenger seat, while Axel and Roxas sat in the back with Saix and Roxas in the middle. Axel swung his arm around Roxas to get comfortable in the small car.

"So Sora!" Saix spoke up after a few minutes of silence while Riku drove. "You do know what they make you do before they actually induct you, right?" Sora smirked.

"And what would that be?"

Saix looked at Axel and Roxas, wanting them to tell him, but they just looked away. Saix sighed, seeing as if he would be the one to tell him. "You have to 'vanquish a memory, linking you to your past before you were part of the Organization." Sora jerked around, locking eyes with the three in the backseat.

"Are you serious?" The silence spoke for itself. Sora sank back into his seat. "Well, what exactly do you mean by that?"

"They explain it to you while you're in the white room, when the rest of us are in the podium." Riku explained as he drove.

"But, I want to know now. So i have time to think about it." You could feel the tension in the car. Riku looked at the clock. They still had about 20 minutes of driving.

"Alright, I'll start." Riku spoke up. "I decided to erase my memory of my family. It was easy enough because I hardly knew them, and they never made an effort to really talk to me. That's why I always hung around you and Kairi back at Destiny Island, Sor." Riku tapped his fingers against the steering wheel.

"What about you Saix?" Sora turned his head a little so he could look at the blue haired man.

"Well, it was pretty easy. The problems I faced growing up. Drugs, booze, all that jazz. And that's about it."

"But wait, if you guys got the memory link erased, how do you still remember?" Sora was utterly confused. Finally Axel spoke up.

"It's not the memory, per say that you forget. It's the feelings you have toward the specific memory link that will be erased. Got it memorized?" Sora nodded. "And I'm guessing you're going to ask about me now? Well let's see." Axel put his hand on his chin like he was seriously pondering what he was about to say.

"I chose to erase any memory of any former lover." He looked down at Roxas, and smiled. Roxas has heard this story many times. "I just wanted my feelings to be toward one person only." He leaned down and kissed Roxas softly, making everyone smile and giggle.

"What about you, Rox?" Sora turned completely around. He never actually asked his best friend what he had to vanquish, and he should've asked him first. Roxas looked at everyone, nervous to say his answer. He has lied to everyone about what he had vanquished.

"My memory link to cocaine." He proudly smiled at his lie, and Saix rubbed Roxas' back. Axel kissed Roxas and grinned.

"Proud of you, baby." Everyone was all smiles by this time.

"Also! They can wipe out every emotion you have except for one, if you choose that instead."

Sora looked at Saix, his eyes as wide as quarters. "I'd rather just vanquish a memory." They all laughed. The group was able to waste enough time talking because they finally made it to Xemas' castle.

They all entered together, but they had to leave Sora at the front of the white room while they entered.

"They'll call your name when everyone is situated, okay?" Riku kissed Sora and held him tightly. "Stay strong for me." Sora nodded and took a couple deep breaths while the other four disappeared inside.

Within ten minutes, Sora was finally called into the white room. The doors opened slowly and Sora was blinded by white. As he entered, his eyes adjusted to the white and the contrast of the black cloaks surrounding the room in a circle above him.

"Sora.." Xemas spoke, sending chills down Sora's back. Just a few years ago, this man was trying to destroy Sora, and now here Sora was, begging to be in the Organization. "Are you ready?" His voice trailed off and Sora took a deep breath.

"I am." There was silence, then quiet chatter between the members of the Organization. All of a sudden, Sora's key blade appeared in his right hand. He gripped it tightly and took his stance, ready to strike.

"Dig deep into your mind, Sora. Find that memory that you chose to forget." Silence. Sora closed his eyes and he felt as if his mind raced through time. When he finally opened his eyes, he was back on Destiny Island. There in front of him was Kairi. "No.." He softly spoke.

"Vanquish your memory Sora.." He glanced around and found Xemas in his cloak, hood over his head. "You must do it now." Sora couldn't argue. He knew he wasn't really hurting Kairi. He didn't want to feel anything from her anymore. So no big deal, right?

In one swift motion, he ran at Kairi and slashed her with the Keyblade. It looked as if her skin was ripped apart and it disenigrated into thin air. He stared in horror as she disappeared from him, but he soon regained his composure. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them back up, he was in the white room.

There was silence as Xemas stepped down with a cloak in his hands. He slowly draped it over Sora's shoulders. He turned around to face the rest of the Organization. The room filled with clapping and cheering. RIku quickly ran down and scooped his boyfriend up in his arms, kissing him deeply and passionately.

Watching the two kiss made Roxas want Axel to pick him up like that. He nudged Axels side and pouted. "Why don't you ever kiss me like that?" He stuck his tongue out and Axel snickered.

"What? Like this?" He grabbed Roxas and pulled him into a tight embrace, pressing his lips roughly against his. Roxas smiled against his lips. Their kiss was interrupted by Saix yelling.

"Oi!" He got everyone's attention, except Xemas'. Xemas just left because he knew what Saix would be saying. "Everyone! Party at my place now! Get your asses there! Bring friends! We gettin' SCHWASTED!" Axel shook his head while Roxas rolled his eyes at Saix. They followed the crowd outside of the castle to their designated cars. It was time to get back into the real world for a moment while they lived a normal life.

Within an hour of the party starting, people were already drunk, and it was hardly 9 pm. Cloaks and random articles of clothing were everywhere. People were dancing, grinding, kissing, and probably fucking somewhere. Roxas just stayed close to his lovers side. He watched with envy as everyone around him drank and had a fun time while he sat next to Axel, sober as fuck. He groaned to himself, knowing Axel wouldn't hear him over the music. He decided he had enough of this. He leaned over to Axel.

"Hey, I'm going to get some water. Do you want some Ax?" Axel nodded and kissed his boyfriend. "Be right back!" Roxas hurried to the kitchen, making sure Axel didn't follow him. He grabbed two red cups, filling one up with water, and the other only a quarter of the way full. Roxas quickly found a bottle of gin and poured some in his cup. He glanced around to make sure no one saw him. He quickly slid the small bottle into his cloak pocket along with the small bag. Roxas grabbed both cups and brought them to Axel, making sure he gave the right one to Axel.

Axel grinned at his boyfriend, proud of him for staying by his side and not drinking. He knew they could have fun together sober. "Wanna dance, babe?" Roxas grinned and shook his head.

"Not yet!" He yelled over the music. He needed to at least a little tipsy before he broke out any of his dance moves in front of everyone. Roxas quickly finished his cup and ran back to the kitchen. He said fuck it, and downed a good bit of the bottle. His throat burned, and he missed that feeling. God, did he miss it. He stayed in the kitchen until he finished the small bottle, already feeling it's affects. He tried to walk into the living room, but he stumbled. Axel caught his boyfriend falling over something. He figured he had just tripped because of all the people. As Axel approached Roxas, he frowned.

Roxas reeked of alcohol. He was fuming, and Roxas could tell. "Ax, I'm sorry." He slurred his words a little, and Axel just sighed.

"It's honestly fine. Just as long as you don't leave my side." Roxas grinned but laughed a little.

"I have to pee. I'll be right b'k." He grinned and walked up the stairs, managing not to fall. He was a little surprised Axel didn't follow him, but he was glad he didn't. As Roxas got to the bathroom he searched around for anything as a flat surface. He stumbled over to the sink and searched for the small baggie in his cloak. He quickly pulled it out and spread a little bit on the counter. He didn't care that it wasn't perfect, he didn't care it was on a dirty sink. He just needed his fix, and god damn it , he was gonna get it.

Quickly, Roxas put his nose up to the beginning of the white line. He plugged his other nostril and snorted the substance into his nose. He immediately felt like he was on top of the world. Everything just seemed to be brighter and more in focus. He smiled and leaned against the wall. There was a knock at the door, and Roxas opened it to see none other than Vexen standing in front of him.

"I should've known I'd find you here. It's where you were last time." Vexen grinned and stepped in the bathroom, closing the door and locking it. Roxas grinned and stared Vexen down.

"Vexaaaaaaaan." Roxas said his name seductively and put his finger against the others chest. "The 'Chilly Academic', right?" Vexen grinned.

"Hook me up, will ya?" Roxas grinned and made another line for Vexen.

Axel started getting impatient. Roxas had been in the bathroom for over 10 minutes. 'Maybe he's sick. He hasn't drank in over a year..' Axel sighed and stood up, walking toward the bathroom. He tried opening the door, but of course it was locked.

"Roxas, are you in there?" He put his ear to the door, and he heard something shuffling around. He listened more and heard whispering, then someone moaning. "Of fuck no!" Axel braced himself and rammed himself into the door until it opened. When he it finally opened, what he saw utterly disgusted him.

Roxas was bending over the sink, snorting what looked like to be cocaine. Vexen stood behind him touching him in places only Axel should touch him. They were fully clothed, but Vexen had his mouth against Roxas' neck. And Roxas was smiling! "ROXAS!" He screamed, causing the two to finally look up. Had they been so out of it, they didn't hear him crash in?

"Ax…" Roxas mumbled. Axel just stood in the door way staring at Roxas.

"How could…" He swallowed a lump in his throat. He maintained his composure and fought back the tears that dared to stain his face.

"Axel please.." Roxas moved toward him, but Axel pushed him against the wall.

"FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" He pushed him harder against the wall. Roxas immediately came down from his high as he stared into the face of his boyfriend, crying. What had Roxas done?! He looked around the bathroom and saw Vexen snorting coke off the sink.

"No.." He whispered. "Ax please!"

"No!" Axel moved away from Roxas. "Go fuck yourself, you're disgusting. I never want to see you again, unless you're in a fucking coffin, Rox." He shoved him back against the wall and Axel finally took his leave. Roxas stood there, stunned. How could he lose control like this again?!

He glared at Vexen and tried to go after Axel. He tripped down the stairs, but soon got back up. Axel was no where in sight. He ran outside and didn't see the gray Prius anywhere. Had he taken the car? Roxas felt tears forming at the corners of his eyes and he just decided to leave.

He didn't care how long it would take him, but he was walking home.

On his way back to the apartment, Roxas tried to recollect what had just happened. He slipped up, and let his needs take control of him. Roxas couldn't handle himself anymore, and he dropped right where he was walking. He screamed while hunched over his knees.

"I'm sorry!" He screamed into the night sky. Roxas closed his eyes and hunched over his legs, but soon stood up. He stared up at the sky and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry…" He whispered. Out of his peripherals, he saw something bright to his left. When he turned his head, his saw brightness, then blackness.


End file.
